Enough is Enough

“I don’t know what it is, but kids just keep getting stupider every year!” 

I’d somehow found myself at the “teacher” table at a workshop I attended (not at all related to education). This comment, spoken by the man who designated our group as the teacher table in the first place, was met with general agreement by the other adults surrounding me. As the others nodded their heads, I felt about two inches tall. The conversation continued in much the same vein, with discussion of social media addiction, video game addiction, and the prevalence of smart devices all as culprits for the decline of children’s intelligence. Finally, unfortunately, someone spoke to me directly: 

“You see all of this at your school, too, right?” 

I took a deep breath. “No, actually,” I said. I’m not one to court discord, so the fact that I disagreed at all was significant for me. “I don’t see that. I don’t think kids are stupid, or ignorant, or lazy, and I’m honestly uncomfortable with the tone of this conversation. I understand that all of this makes it hard for you to do your jobs, but I don’t think kids are the problem.” 

And that, more or less, was that. The conversation died down, and we returned to our work. I’m not sure anything changed for anyone at the table with me, but something did shift for me. I realized that much of how traditional education operates is to pit students and teachers against one another. It made me feel very grateful that I work at a school where that is not the case. 

At Alpine Valley School, the staff bear the responsibility for the safety and security of the students overall. However, I am free from trying to maintain order (at least not without the help of the Judicial Committee), uploading knowledge to my students, and asking them to download it again onto a test. It is an enormous relief to be free from those constraints and to be able to relate to students as people, with all their strengths and foibles. And they are free to connect with me in the same way. 

I also see a significant part of my role as a staff member as mirroring back to students one consistent message: You are enough. That does not necessarily mean that a person’s behavior meets with the standards we’ve all agreed upon as a community, but it does mean that they, as a person, are inherently good. That is not a message that children receive often enough, in my opinion, and certainly not from school. 

Before I came to Alpine Valley School, back when I was in mainstream education, I was a very “good student.” I did all my work, completed assignments on time, and got good grades. I had teachers who were caring and patient, and teachers who were cranky and unkind. Regardless of who was in front of the classroom, I believed my worth as a person was dependent on the grade they assigned me. The entire mainstream educational structure supported that belief. If I was a “good student,” then I was “good” and “bad students” were “bad” - they were lazy and ignorant. I did not want to be those things, and so I worked hard to maintain my grades. One day, I got a D on a math test, and I spent the entire bus ride home in the grip of a sobbing panic attack. My identity, my essential goodness as a person, was being threatened, and I completely fell apart. At that point, my parents knew that something needed to change, and we found Alpine Valley School. 

After enrolling, I spent much of my first couple of weeks following the adult staff members around low-key asking them to approve of me. I wanted those grades, I wanted my essential worth confirmed by the authority figures, and they refused to do it - the jerks. Instead, they challenged me to find things I wanted to do instead and encouraged me to get in touch with my essential sense of self. Every step of the way, the staff treated me as though I were competent, and slowly I began to believe that too. They gave me the gift of showing me I was enough, no matter what I accomplished (or not). I cannot imagine the course my life would have taken without that knowledge. 

Now, as a staff member myself, I try to pay it forward. No matter how a student spends their time - playing Minecraft, drawing, doing math worksheets - they are capable, responsible, and worthy. There is no other lesson I know of with as much power as knowing that you are enough.